Lifes Wee Problems

Most of my last seven years have been spent living in a developing country, specifically Cambodia which provided its own set of life problems. Returning to a developed country can also throw up its own unique life problems and the common theme here is that most problems center around ones ability to assimilate, or not.

Just to clarify I’m not talking heartbreaking, life changing types of problems. These are more like what I would call “lives-wee” problems.

I turned up in Durban, South Africa on a lovely old friends doorstep. And forthwith lived a non-backpackers life, a wonderful life-of-luxury by staying with them in their beautiful home near the Durban beaches for just over two weeks. This part of my supposed backpacking journey included my own bedroom, swimming pool, beautiful big, grassed front and backyards, a maid  and the wonderful company of my friend his wife and their gorgeous five, and eight-year-olds, two dogs, and two cats.

“Lives-wee” problems came in the form of things like inadvertently doing the maids work. I reason it out to having lived on my own for years and am used to cleaning up as I go. If I don’t do those dishes, ain’t nobody else gonna do it, I’m on auto pilot. And secondly, because where I grew up no one had maids and from my point of view neither is right or wrong, it’s just different.

The experience of having her there doing my washing etc did feel a bit out of kilter to my inner psych. I was also used to Mum being the one who did our cleaning with the help of the rest of the family. We kept our own rooms clean and tidy, we all did the dishes and helped Mum do the vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom etc. well at least that’s how I remember it, Mum might remember it differently.  I could kinda get used to having a maid if push came to shove.

Then there are all the usual new arrival things like getting used to a new currency and trying to do mathematically complex conversions in your head. Which results in me either ending up looking like a tightwad because I feel like a pauper or I buy copious amounts of things I suddenly believe I need because it appears I’ve become a millionaire overnight. On a positive note, it creates fun for people like check-out-chicks who can’t stop laughing when I give her the equivalent of $3 to pay for a plastic bag. She was obviously having a slow day.

After 7 years of; riding a bike, taking a motorbike taxi or a Tuktuk, driving a car which is normally second nature had me feeling like a bit of my circuitry is missing. My brake foot seems too heavy and my accelerator foot too light. I’m turning on the windscreen wipers instead of the indicators, parking spaces seem to have shrunk in size and everyone else is driving on the wrong side of the road.

All being well I do finally make it to my destination, the shopping mall. That’s a whole wow factor all on its own. Being in the hallowed walls of a vast cool building full of shops ready to provide me with everything I do and don’t need. And a supermarket bursting its seams with more options than my unspoiled-for-choice brain is capable of dealing with. Not only do they have cottage cheese, they have six varieties. Not only do they have savory crackers and dip, they have whole isles of choices of them. It’s almost too much to bare, but somehow I do cope.

My excitement on having located the treasure chest aka shopping mall is however, almost undone. Ahead of me awaits the whole complex puzzle of how to navigate the car parking ticket system. But successful I am and luckily escape relatively unscathed from my fresh off the boat shopping experience.

There are other “lives- wee” problems like being eyed blankly when I ask where I can get credit for my phone. Apparently here it’s called “airtime”. When entering a cafe I ask the serving guy if its table-service. He also looks at me blankly and asks if I wish to takeaway.

There are always benefits about being the new-kid-on-the-block, like  you can honestly tell people asking you for directions that you have no idea how to get to “how’s ya father” street and by getting lost while out running you get to find out how warm and friendly the locals actually are. In this scenario, very!